Meditation
When I think of meditation… I think of therapy. And monks in orange clothes with shaved heads. The word Buddhist comes to mind. I think about finding a quite place with maybe some ambient music like a waterfall or wordless blues. I’m learning study tricks to help me focus and mediate. I think it’s so hard for me to work with music with words because I will allow myself to get distracted. I think of meditation maybe as the quite moments in my head when I relay my day, events in my life, special moments I want to cherish and not share with the world. This usually happens right before bed. I sometimes may meditate in my journal that really is less of a diary with writing of actual events but mostly it has thoughts, feelings, poems, drawings, and quotes that have inspired me. Meditation is the quite time where you can be alone in your own head. Maybe meditation for some would be quite time with God, but I don’t think I’m ready to have someone that powerful back into my head again. Reflecting or meditating on my situation allows me to realize how grateful I am to be alive and have a roof over my head and pretty much food whenever I need it. Meditating on these things allows me to look at life from a more serious perspective that softens my heart to those less fortunate.
Meditation is… for myself when I chose to consciously reflect back on events of my life and even think about dreams I have for my future and how I could get there. Meditation is deep thought. Meditation would probably help one to tap into the stream of consciousness. You don’t have to be a monk sitting around crisscross applesauce and humming the word “ohm.” We all meditate in some way daily without even thinking about it. It’s just reflections of life. Thinking of all the things you wish you could change but are unable to cause it’s just not possible. And in desperate moments you may even mediate on how to build a time machine. Meditation could be self medication. Something one does to keep their own head from exploding. I’m shoving away demons of inner thought right now hoping to be able to further mediate on this question and not allow myself to be distracted. Mediation is not easy, but neither is writing.
My Experience with Meditating
When I was meditating at first it was hard to focus because I couldn’t get comfortable. I wanted to un-tuck my shirt and lay my face on something soft unlike my elbow. I enjoyed having my eyes closed. Easing into it with Prof Harmon directing our breaths was the easiest way that could have allowed me to transition into my place of peace with breathing. A few times I had to control my monkey mind but I let my thoughts wander to finish so I wasn’t tortured. I just didn’t feed into them or question anything further. I liked having the lights off. I was nervous to have no background noise at first, I thought maybe being stuck in my own head with no distractions would make me think about crazy things but the sound of my own breathing was enough. I had to try not to take in too much air cause then when I held it I got reminded of being underwater. I was able to find a breathing pace I was comfortable with. I liked being able to move freely and touch my arms, legs or face. The sensation was more soothing than distracting. I’m glad I didn’t fall asleep but it was nice to know that if I had, it would be okay. It was a nice feeling that my mind was allowed to wander to a certain extent within controlled limits. It felt safe.
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